Perceptions

     I've been sitting here trying to process what has happened in the last month and how is has affected my child and her well being. I am distraught with the comings and goings over the last month and am tired of it all. Blood is thicker than water. People will defend blood even if it's wrong. What is the end
result when your child is not held responsible for their actions?

    What adult can see objectively in a group of teen issues if she has her hands in all their pockets by seeing their social media posts, drama includes your daughter if you can see where the problems lie. When you are knee deep because of here say and gossip from children it's time for you to get an adult perspective and not just someone who has the same opinion as you. If you don't address the issues, act like your innocent in having the girl drama persist and view your child as an angel who also is a part of the problem then hide behind your idealistic views of being a child of christ.  I call BS! Prove it by action. Set an example of how an adult can deal with conflict. Don't do it by posting your perception of what has happened because you are called out overstepping your boundaries.

      I'm done crying over these issues. I am choosing to move forward from this experience. My child speaks up for herself when asked questions and tells the truth even if it means getting into trouble. The child acting like she is innocent and making up lies because her feelings got hurt will do the same thing as an adult. Just as not addressing the real issues and seek approval from others on social media while giving half the story. And, to that adult I say, I feel sorry for you. The narrow mindness to think you are above any policy, use politics to let your child get away with a lie that spiraled this drama and shame on you for making false accusations toward people you say are your "family". You're actions don't match what you preach as a woman of God.

     I believe the truth will come out. And, we are accountable to our God for our actions. So if not now, then later and I will not have to say anything. My actions will speak for itself, my history for speaking the truth, acting in the best interest of others and justice. I have clothed the needy, homed the homeless, gave my last dollar to the poor, been a shoulder to the weary, counseled the kids who have no adult figure and cared for the elderly. When someone challenges me to do better I am open to seeing myself from their eyes because I know I am far from perfect. But, I say to you that accuses me of being an unfit parent and my husband capable of hurting a child. If you were so concerned, why is it you had your child sleep over in my home countless times? Why is it now you voice out your concerns, considering the timing of it all  and coincides with your boss talking to you about your actions while at work. Is it a coincidence that my child gets interviewed a few days later? My husband who has raised my oldest child as his own, coached 100s of girls, fought for his country to protect Americans, got injured at war and wakes up at 4 am every morning to provide a home for our family and live in a safe community. And, the consequences of what you started will remain a reflection of your actions. Those accusations are unfounded.

     I am challenging my child to be a leader and not get sucked into the drama of people who won't matter years from now. I challenge her to do right even if she not popular for doing it. To be kind to everyone even if they have wronged her. She is a child, I expect her to make mistakes. And, when she does. I will be there to support and guide her. To teach her to learn from her mistakes and take the consequences of her actions.

    My husband says cut the ties. And regretfully I say I'm done hearing the lies, gossip and I have a higher purpose to raise my kids with honor, integrity and respect..  I am praying to find guidance to help me parent positively. To set an example of humility and respect. I am called to lift up my child so when she falls, I will be there for her. Show tough love when she has done wrong. And, praise her when she has done right. As a parent I have big responsibility. It is the biggest job I will ever have in my lifetime.

Labor of love

I've been mad, tired and emotionally exhausted from the first week of school. Not only for me but my kids as well. And, in the line of fire is my husband hearing my rants.
It didn't start out that way in the first morning of the week. I was caressing my kids awake and singing. The second day a whole new experience. I couldn't help but reach out to the fellow moms. I know it wasn't just me.
And, when we discussed the funny stories of the week and epic mommy fails. I was reassured that I was not alone in my journey of raising a teen and a tween.
Oh, how appropriate that we have a holiday right after our first week of school. We have been exhausted to the point where our head hits the pillow and we don't know what time our slumber began. During the grind of the errands, back to school schedule and extracurricular activities. I was reminded to slow down. Not only by God in silent prayer BUT  in HIS home. And, I am thankful to get an extra day to rest. Eat breakfast with my husband and kids. Enjoy a clean home and watch Netflix movies after a weekend of soccer games. It is in this labor of love that I am taught patience for accepting and bearing my cross. The daily grind is what gives us pain but also gives us perspective in our growth. It's appreciation for little miracles that we are reminded to be responsible for our happiness and peace of mind.  And, when it becomes unbearable, we ask for help. From our father who walks in our path and sometimes carries up when we can't walk.
This weekend, I was reminded of the man, God brought into my life when I prayed for a life partner who would love me unconditionally and my daughter like his own. It was when I saw him carry my baby, all 106 lbs of her, around the parking lot when we had dinner that I was reminded of my prayer answered. How this man, I was blessed to have give his love not of his own biological form but from a labor of love. Which was planted she was 2 1/2 years old and gave him the name "Dabas". My heart melts and will always every time he eases her pain. She was tired from 4 soccer games in one day in 102 degrees. Someone once called him a "gruff bear". And, it was on point. He talks curt and short but when you unravel his layers. He's just a plush bear. Huggable and kissable. To my labor of love, I will continue to make your turkey, cheese and avocado sandwiches because you allow me to be the best Mom I could ever be by being present in our children's lives.

Patching up open wounds

There are times when you cannot control the disappointments that will come into your child's life. They stop being friends with their best friend. They don't get picked for the talent show. And, when this happens, you stand by their side, support them so they can stand back up and dust their legs off. I'd like to tell them it gets better but it doesn't.  Life is full of unexpected turns and it isn't always fair. But, it is how we react to our circumstances that define the person we become.

I was prepared to hear bad news when my child got the news she didn't make the cut for a program at school. I was expecting her to be crushed and hysterical. Much to my surprise,  she was upset but got over it in less than 24 hours. She identified a back up plan. It was a proud Mommy moment. My child maturing into a young tween. Able to cope with life's disappointments. This showed me how I am raising a strong young woman.

In patching up her wound, she was able to console her best friend and be a shoulder to cry on. It made me cry seeing them lean on each other. Grateful they have each other. Not just today but as they journey through the start of junior high. They are ready. Hand in hand. I see good things in their future...the world an open sea to explore.