How to be a better human

Be nice! Love one another. Do right. These are common themes I strive for everyday and try to teach my kids. But, darn!!! It is not easy.

Between all the hustle of starting back to school. I take a moment to slow down as the week ends. I am watching. Observing everyone running this race called life. Why are we in such a rush? What is our measurement of success? What drives us to be a better human? I'm not exactly sure. All I know is that I'm accountable for me and my children. But, at a certain point. They become responsible for themselves. How can I help my babies become the adults that I hope they will one day be? Am I good enough of an example of how to be a better human? I hope so. The reality is that my child has a choice and she may not always believe, think, act or say how I would. My teen is no exception. Honestly, sometimes I think I know her well enough to see her intentions but I am clouded with my own biases and may not give her enough credit.

When given an opportunity to see what she would do for her sisters or friends or stranger. I am proud to see her step up. She works hard to help others and be supportive. She shows empathy for the poor and elderly. She smiles at those who lonely. She gives a shoulder to cry on. She works hard to become a better human even when she knows she is not being watched because she believes in doing right and our Lord Savior.

Is this innate or was this learned behavior? Has she transitioned into this young woman because of her experiences or lack thereof? I'd say a combination. When I talk to my husband, he sees the glass empty. He complains about how immature she is and lacks the skills to carry out tasks that will be required in life. That she is coddled and not given enough responsibilities. We can agree to disagree. The demands of children these days are different. Our world is changing by the minute. The latest apps are outdated by trends. Information overload by social media. Our children's generation will have other issues we did not have to deal with. In the end though, we should be nice, do right and love one another. We only get to do this once. This thing called life.

To will

Creating willingness to do the right thing and help others is such a different way of thinking in this society that is self- centered. Everyone sitting in their bubble of life. Driving past children in school zones not paying attention to the safety of kids. Opportunistic people stealing their neighbors goods that they earned and work hard to get. People shoving people who get their way without manners. I get annoyed. Is this what I have surrounding me and my community. The examples set for my children?

I sat talking to a group of 15-16 year old kids of various ethnicities but with one commonality. Pursuit to be closer to God. At least I thought so, when I asked them why they came no one answered. But, their body language showed they didn't want to be in a class with me. It made me sad at first and then I prayed with them and them with me. So there, I was able to lay seeds in their minds and hearts.

And, my heart resonated when at week 2, they shared more about their daily struggles. I listened to how they deal with pressures of having good grades, living up to expectations of their parents, peer pressure and relationships. It gave me insight on what I have to look forward to. I just need to remember to have open ears for when I need to listen to my kids struggles and cries for help.

Against the current

I'm not of this generation. And, I'm glad I am not. I was brought in a different world. There was value in life, respect for the elder and compassion for humanity. I feel a heavy burden for this new generation being brought into this world of materialism and violence.
The news is depressing. I remember being 6 months pregnant with my oldest when 9-11 occured live. I felt like I was in a movie. And, I prayed to my Almighty savior because I knew my child was up against a current. The values that I was brought up in was something I would share with my unborn child. And, now I see with more fervent belief what a necessity it will become for her as she starts junior high.
I am shocked by the stories I hear of how kids these days behave and yet not surprised. How is it possible that we have the expectation that our children behave responsible, respectfully and honorably if they are not taught these positive traits early in life? Don't we as a society owe it to the children to be better examples? And, I say yes!!!! Not just for our children and our children's children.
Be mindful of your thoughts which turn into your words which then lead to your actions. It is a challenge I ask of each one of you. Everyday! Catch yourself thinking positive and choose to be happy. Inspite of any challenges. Let's see how your day, your life, your family, our community can be transformed into a better world. One day at a time.

Limits

Media, social media, children raising children, peer pressure have become the norm with constant instant gratification. These are some of reasons the Millennium generation feel entitled. I've been warned. I was given the mother's curse when I pushed the limits of my parents patience and rules. But, they were in place for a reason.

So here I am, my oldest pulling the same with me. While, I remember doing it much older in high school and college and maybe I blocked things out. The need for approval by peers. The need for more and MORE. And, not knowing my own limits FOR MYSELF. As a child, our perspective is based on the limited environment our parents provide.

As a parent, my perspective has changed and continues to change the older my children get and I learn to let go of my fears allowing them to fly. This summer I let go and free it to HIM. I have to do what must be done to show the limits she can push which means she will have growing pains. I've warned her about the importance of respect, honesty and integrity.  I've prayed for patience and wisdom.  My heart aches when I have to punish her but I have to remember consistent parenting will mold her to the young woman she is destined to be. One with values.

She will stay the summer with her Dad and Step-Mom. And, it pains me. I had created a schedule of fun, education and quality time. My baby is sad, her Ate will be gone. And, I can't give in. I need to show her tough love. This summer will show her MY limits.

I pray for her and I. That our relationship can overcome this hurdle. That I live through the teen years. It's going to be a bumpy ride.