Rescued

We teach our children skills to help them cope with life. But, we can't rescue them from life's disappointments, grief or failures. In fact, we need to teach them to deal with those moments. To show them by example how to plow through those moments.

I wish I could be rescued. I want to escape and fast forward through these moments when the unforseenable is your reality. And, it BITES!!! I am miserable! I am cranky, tired and just sick up playing catch up everyday. Will it ever end? Yes, I suppose when life ceases.

I sat in a local coffee house because I threw a tantrum. I was boycotting my family. And, as I sat in front of my laptop. I felt silly. I got news about my sister friend who is battling cancer. Then, got a text about a family friend who passed. In as much, I think my problems are exhaustive. There are those who are battling far worse problems.

I tried to imagine what it would be like to lose a parent as I said a prayer for my family friend. And, it saddened me. So much, I cried. Because my parents are at that age. They are temperamental. They are mad at me for losing my temper and not agreeing with my vocabulary.

I'm just at a stage in my life that I dont take crap from anyone. I'm too old for it. I know how I wanted to be lived, valued and respected. And, I'm choosing who I want in my circle. I have been rescued many times. And, every time, I stood there I could see who was next to me. Over the years, my friends have come and gone. Family differences have divided us.

Am I suppose to rescue all my relationships? Nope. It's a two way street. Everyone has to put in effort. It's called nurturing each relationship and fostering good will.

And, we are to be God's salts on earth. Flavoring of God and spreading his good will. 

Matthew 5:13

Creating Positivity

One of my best friends challenged me to list 3 positive things each for 5 consecutive days and nominate 3 people each day. What I learned is that the things I thought I would list as blessings were not listed and I am blessed beyond measure. For example: I have so many things I wanted to list that I had to prioritize them.

I did it the same day she challenged me. And, what I loved was seeing who I nominated do this same positivity challenge. There are so many things in this life that go sour and we have trials and hurdle that delay our journey. But, if we focused on those hurdles then we miss the chance to enjoy a slower pace and watching the beauty that lies within our surrounding.

In class tonight, I was extremely caught out of guard when several students told me how I changed their life for the better. One student who is morbidly obese  was recently diagnosed with diabetes who has started  exercising with her husband 3 times a week. She validated what I do. She made all the late night grading papers and prepping for class worthwhile. I've always wanted to impact my student's lives but it is rare I get immediate feedback before my class ends.

This was a rough week with battling a respiratory infection and teaching a full load. Thank goodness for these positive moments in my chaotic life that reminds me of the blessings in my life. Especially, when I'm thrown into a new routine as I transition into a system for grading. I am thankful for doing something I love and am proud to do.

Gravity pulls

Each morning I get this nudge right before I get up. It isn't a physical nudge but rather an internal nudge reminding me to be mindful. I start with the silent prayer giving thanks for a new day. It has been a part of my daily routine because of a planted seed. My mother emulated this habit everyday. I watched her say her rosary each morning before work. She always told me she prayed for our family, her patients, peace of the world and I never really grasped the importance of what she did. I thank her for setting such a great example.
Being centered each morning helps me go through the day. It reminds me of the very
purpose I have in my lifetime. I need to set an example for my spawn.
It wasn't until I really sat and listened to their prayers did I see the seeds were growing roots within my children. This made me smile and warmed my heart. So much. It made me cry. When my baby asked me what was wrong. I told her they were tears of joy. 

Labor of love

I've been mad, tired and emotionally exhausted from the first week of school. Not only for me but my kids as well. And, in the line of fire is my husband hearing my rants.
It didn't start out that way in the first morning of the week. I was caressing my kids awake and singing. The second day a whole new experience. I couldn't help but reach out to the fellow moms. I know it wasn't just me.
And, when we discussed the funny stories of the week and epic mommy fails. I was reassured that I was not alone in my journey of raising a teen and a tween.
Oh, how appropriate that we have a holiday right after our first week of school. We have been exhausted to the point where our head hits the pillow and we don't know what time our slumber began. During the grind of the errands, back to school schedule and extracurricular activities. I was reminded to slow down. Not only by God in silent prayer BUT  in HIS home. And, I am thankful to get an extra day to rest. Eat breakfast with my husband and kids. Enjoy a clean home and watch Netflix movies after a weekend of soccer games. It is in this labor of love that I am taught patience for accepting and bearing my cross. The daily grind is what gives us pain but also gives us perspective in our growth. It's appreciation for little miracles that we are reminded to be responsible for our happiness and peace of mind.  And, when it becomes unbearable, we ask for help. From our father who walks in our path and sometimes carries up when we can't walk.
This weekend, I was reminded of the man, God brought into my life when I prayed for a life partner who would love me unconditionally and my daughter like his own. It was when I saw him carry my baby, all 106 lbs of her, around the parking lot when we had dinner that I was reminded of my prayer answered. How this man, I was blessed to have give his love not of his own biological form but from a labor of love. Which was planted she was 2 1/2 years old and gave him the name "Dabas". My heart melts and will always every time he eases her pain. She was tired from 4 soccer games in one day in 102 degrees. Someone once called him a "gruff bear". And, it was on point. He talks curt and short but when you unravel his layers. He's just a plush bear. Huggable and kissable. To my labor of love, I will continue to make your turkey, cheese and avocado sandwiches because you allow me to be the best Mom I could ever be by being present in our children's lives.

Happiness is a choice

When the tides shift of summer vacation  and the stress of a new school year starting brings on stressors. I was recently given a letter from my daughter about not understanding her pressures and emotional roller coasters. I was amazed by her ability to share her feelings and be vulnerable to share them with me. She is that comfortable to open up to me. And, for that I'm thankful. The times when she shares her frustration and starts yelling from not being able to cope with life events. I laugh to myself. This is ME!!! When I get overwhelmed, I yell and get mad. Oh what have taught my soon to be teen? When I am mad. My family knows it and they suffer my wrath.
I've decided, I can change. I can choose to be happy. Everyday. Even when I have 2 cranky tweens. An overworked hubby and coach. I can create a space of peace in my home to remind myself that there are little blessings that happen even under the messy house, stocked pile laundry and sinkful of dishes.
The issues of today are miniscule in the big picture of my life. I am not defined by my job, how clean/organized my house may be and having a rock hard body.
In my class last week, all my students talked about their stressors and how it affects their health. Physical demands of having a family, financial impact it takes on the parents and emotional triggers from relationships. This is universal. What makes me thankful, is that I am reminded once again that I am lucky to have these stressors. I am blesses to be the kind of mother I want to be. Love educating others and inspiring them to make an improved version of "them".
I choose to be happy. Life is too short to be complacent with others who don't share your core values. And, I can't please everyone. I can only be the best version of me everyday!

Why you gotta be so rude?

I'm completely singing the song Rude in my head by MAGIC. And, I laugh because my cousin dedicated it to her husband. Apparently, their 20 year old got engaged and Dad wasn't nice to the young man that asked for permission to marry his daughter (Lol). There's always a story behind someone's actions.

There was an incident that occurred to me and my daughter where in an older woman was completely rude to my daughter at the community we live in. And, I was so upset that I had to approach this woman. She was on her high horse that my child was not following rules. And, my response to her was she didn't have to be rude about it. She disagreed. So, I naturally did when someone tries to attack my cub. I go into Mama bear mode. And, I suggest to her that she could be a better example to children. This pear shaped lady is obviously unhappy and has to transfer her hate toward my child. It was also obvious she was racist because of remark when I walked away.
We breed racism and hatred in homes. It is a learned behavior and not genetic. For example: Watch a small child play with another child. They don't judge another child based on their color, eyes, hair color or body shape. I used this as a teachable moment for my kids.

Our behavior inside and outside of the home is a reflection of us. We are taught by Christ to step back when we are emotional and act in the name of Christ. I pray for this lady. Who needs it. She preys on a child to make herself feel better. It is in forgiveness we are resurrected. It is showing my child that I will protector her as long as I am alive. I am her Mama Bear!

Against the current

I'm not of this generation. And, I'm glad I am not. I was brought in a different world. There was value in life, respect for the elder and compassion for humanity. I feel a heavy burden for this new generation being brought into this world of materialism and violence.
The news is depressing. I remember being 6 months pregnant with my oldest when 9-11 occured live. I felt like I was in a movie. And, I prayed to my Almighty savior because I knew my child was up against a current. The values that I was brought up in was something I would share with my unborn child. And, now I see with more fervent belief what a necessity it will become for her as she starts junior high.
I am shocked by the stories I hear of how kids these days behave and yet not surprised. How is it possible that we have the expectation that our children behave responsible, respectfully and honorably if they are not taught these positive traits early in life? Don't we as a society owe it to the children to be better examples? And, I say yes!!!! Not just for our children and our children's children.
Be mindful of your thoughts which turn into your words which then lead to your actions. It is a challenge I ask of each one of you. Everyday! Catch yourself thinking positive and choose to be happy. Inspite of any challenges. Let's see how your day, your life, your family, our community can be transformed into a better world. One day at a time.