Flexing

I want structure and I need it. I want to teach this to my children. It makes me feel like I have things in control. But, I know I'm not. I can plan, schedule, coordinate and reschedule but life happens. Sometimes, things don't work out as you imagine or want. And, FLEXIBILITY is key.

How do I teach this? Not by what I tell them but by my actions. I can lead by example. How do I react when my plans don't go as planned? The people in my immediate environment are watching. My kids, students, subordinates or colleagues. I am hoping by this example, I am helping to create change.

I decide internally without consciousness to make plans this weekend as our plans fall through. And, to my surprise, exceeded my expectations. All the while  creating memorable moments. I am thankful my beloved was flexible along the way. It is something he is adjusting to even though we have been together over 10 years.

Patching up open wounds

There are times when you cannot control the disappointments that will come into your child's life. They stop being friends with their best friend. They don't get picked for the talent show. And, when this happens, you stand by their side, support them so they can stand back up and dust their legs off. I'd like to tell them it gets better but it doesn't.  Life is full of unexpected turns and it isn't always fair. But, it is how we react to our circumstances that define the person we become.

I was prepared to hear bad news when my child got the news she didn't make the cut for a program at school. I was expecting her to be crushed and hysterical. Much to my surprise,  she was upset but got over it in less than 24 hours. She identified a back up plan. It was a proud Mommy moment. My child maturing into a young tween. Able to cope with life's disappointments. This showed me how I am raising a strong young woman.

In patching up her wound, she was able to console her best friend and be a shoulder to cry on. It made me cry seeing them lean on each other. Grateful they have each other. Not just today but as they journey through the start of junior high. They are ready. Hand in hand. I see good things in their future...the world an open sea to explore.

Transformation

It's amazing to see what can happen in 8 months. So much can change in such a short amount of time. Lives can be transformed from one event. And, life can be taken in a day. It is a reminder that we are on borrowed time. We are given a blessing each day we wake up.




As a look around at the daily tasks that have to be done everyday, I am reminded the little tasks are important. What if those tasks were not completed? There would be an accumulation. Sometimes, I get frustrated because I don't see progress in thetasks that I do. The menial tasks such as dishes, laundry, organizing the house and it's because they never end. As long as we are living, we need to maintain them. Otherwise, it will accumulate and become an unbearable task to start or complete.



As the kids get older, I am trying to teach by example the important of regular maintence. I equate this to everything in life: hygiene, cleaning your environment, spiritual life, physical health, etc. If only it was so easy to balance all of this in our lives when we get thrown something in our schedules. It never seems to fail, a child gets sick and throws your schedule out the door. But, what I am thankful for is the chance to redo each day again. Learn from the last day. Get a chance to renew my spirit, mind and body and show thanks to be able to "maintain" my life and the household.

My kids are transforming into more independent young adults. And, as those menial tasks will disappear, my husband and I will be left with transforming our life as an empty nesters. God willing. My schedule does not always equate to God's plan. And, I say this as I am reminded by a death of a family friend who was taken too soon from this earth and left a young family. It brings a reminder that I should relish these days and live in moment. Enjoy the moments of having my oldest ask me to come and spend time with her, lay on my lap or ask me to shop with her at the mall. There will come a day, she will ask that I not come. And, it breaks my heart because I know it's right around the corner. And, I mourn for the child that lost her mother, who will not be able to take her shopping for a prom dress and see her off to college. I am changing my thoughts of having expectations to have all the tasks done and expecting the house clean like you see in the movies. I will transform my life to priortize what type of legacy I leave behind. Which are the values of time spent with my family, enjoying the present and creating balance. And, doing so without any expectations of receiving it back. Giving it whole heartedly. Hoping I said and showed them that what matters is my loved ones. Helping others as God commanded me. And, using my talents to praise his name.