Stress Triggers

Stress is a constant in our everyday life. It can inhibit a reaction when our environment has a stressor. We can't avoid it. How we handle it and respond to it can determine if the stressor has control. My oldest, makes the statement in the mornings "your stressing me out". I reply, your letting yourself stress out.
One of the things, I tell her is to manage her time efficiently. As I've been learning to let go and give her freedom of independence, I observe her actions. I'm letting go, I tell her. And, in my head, I'm screaming "don't do that" or "oh my goodness!". It's the Tiger Mom in me that wants to control every situation for my child and make it all better. I have to learn to let her see the consequences of her actions and pick up the pieces. I tell her and myself. It's SO hard! Parenting is so hard! I sit and meditate because now she is causing me stress by her "whining". She is my vocal child. She doesn't mask her emotions. And, she is generally good at verbalizing it with me. Wooosahhh, Deep heavy breathing! I need a timeout. LOL!!
My youngest is observing my reaction, she tries to get my attention and tell me she is on task. I have to be more diligent to give her enough attention and compliment her when I'm starting to feel stressed. I smile, "Good job baby". She wants a reward. Time. She wants my undivided attention. She says my older child is a "mommy hogger". While, I'm happy my children love to be around me. At this period of time, I have a plethora of feelings coming in at waves. Sometimes, triggers of delight & happiness, unconditional love, anxiety, depression, emptiness, tranquility, fear, boredom and loneliness. My emotional state varies by hour. My youngest looks at me to determine what state of mind I'm in. The hardest time of the day in 4-6pm when my energy is almost all gone. My patience is weary. I'm waiting for my partner in crime to relieve me.
He slumps as he walks in through the garage, traffic worn face wants my attention, too. "Hi, baby". No response! In my head (Oh no! Watch your body language and facial expression). I respond... You want me to make you something? As I hug him. He melts in my shoulder. I've debunked him. I pat him on the butt, and show him the chair. He wants to talk about his day, I gather.
I realized that we all have stress triggers and react to them. I'm learning to recognize the signs. And, choosing my battles. It is a constant balance with raising to kids, working, home and wife. Something usually falls through the cracks. When it does, I'm reminded that I'm behind the ball. Ugh! Life is such of a a Mom in 2013. The expectations of keeping a tidy home, home cooked meals, corporate job, kids, husband, soccer mom, PTA mom, friend, sister, daughter, daughter in law... The list is endless. Let's give me another hat. It looks so easy when I smile "hello". When I'm up at the wee hours, I'm cursing at myself. I want to keep myself pre-occupied. I thrive on intrinsic rewards. I like having finished products. I get bored easily. I need stimulation and adult interaction. Why isn't it easy to understand how my mind works? Those closest to me should see that I like organize chaos that I have control over. My stress triggers is when others expect me to take care of things because no one else wants to. The out of control wacky schedules of soccer. The calls and texts I get in the day to coordinate things without asking me and assuming it will be done yesterday. I say no more! I have to learn to say no. I cause half of my stress. I need to find new intrinsic rewards and be happy with just sitting in my own company. I need to. I have to relax and focus on improving my health and not letting the things I don't have control affect me.
I'm sitting here debunking myself and reflecting the reasons why I get up tight at different scenarios. As my youngest sings " your gonna miss me when I'm gone"!