Thursday, September 10, 2015

Music to my ears

These days organized chaos is just an understatement. Soccer season starting, volleyball is my preteen's choice this year and music is how my baby is coping with her schedule change from the summer.



I recall my parents telling me as a child that I would benefit from music and piano was going channel my inner genius. Dad would always encourage us to be our best. And, say "Are you going to be the first woman president?" And, "Miss Universe"? How about a lawyer?  Talk about setting the bar high. I remember struggling to meet my parents expectations. They got good grades, excelled in their careers and their second career after immigrating to a foreign land. How courageous they were...they forged for their growing family and housed their extended family. And. They rose high. They created a wealth of assets...then as hard as they worked to earn it. They lost it. All of it! By the time my parents were my age, they had 4 children, filed for bankruptcy and lost all their properties. We moved from a quiet suburb neighborhood  and a house with a decent square footage to the heart of the city of Angels. What a culture shock it was for me and my brothers. I had music and drill team... my saving grace. It kept me out of trouble. It kept me focused from my ADD/dyslexic (self diagnosed).




Today is no different. I wake up to listening to music. I play it in the car on the way to school. It is on my drive home and I love to hear my daughter sing. She has a raw talent that I wished I had as a child. My other daughter plays the piano by ear and loves to play without having me nagging her. My newborn responds to my lullabies with my own lyrics. There is a difference in how I parent but this early introduction my parents planted in me is something I have given as a gift to my children.


There are studies of how important  music is to the mental development in newborns and children. But, our education system has failed our children by budget cuts and taking away music programs. If only every child of every socioeconomic  status would have available to them the ability to learn an instrument, sing in a choir, dance and perform in theater, would we have less students bullying or less suicides?  I deduct we would have more confident kids who are willing to focus on strong core values of team work, accountability, and leadership. 

http://m.mic.com/articles/108022/science-just-discovered-something-amazing-about-what-childhood-piano-lessons-did-to-you

There are nonprofits and funding  available to those in need. Here are a few resources in the Los Angeles and Inland Empire areas.

  • http://heartofla.org/arts/music
  • http://culturela.org/musicla/
  • http://fendermuseum.com/

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Silence speaks volumes

I'm  talking. I don't  think THEY are listening. I'm frustrated. So I stop. Silence!

OH NOW! I've captured your attention. I'm fuming inside. What's wrong? I stare back. I say nothing. In my mind. WTF! You haven't listened to me, that's what is wrong. I've been engaging in a conversation with myself. Argh!

I have this conversation  in my head at least 2 times a week. It's  tiresome. I'm not being heard. So I withdraw to my zen place. It varies but my default is usually  my phone, a book, my room or music. 
I'm responsible for communicating my message but what do you do when you are tuned out? And, I get resentful because I'm not being heard, understood and I'm tired. 



41 and a new mom. Teen-tude and pre-teen/middle child talks. I'm deaf to their ears. The hubby cranky from traffic. No one's needs are being met. Silence as everyone settles. Everyone walking on pins and needles. ROAR! I YELL! Irritated because I'm sleepy. I'm very much like my newborn. I cry (inside) when I'm tired, hungry or sleepy.

3 hours later...I'm still cranky but I cook in silence. The nap rested my body but I realized I was hungry. And,  dinner is not made. Breastfeeding taking my energy and food necessary to produce milk. So I finish making dinner.

I realize my coping mechanism when I'm stressed and overwhelmed is SILENCE...it frightens my family. They know I'm brewing. They wait for the explosion. I'm about to lose it. And, I say as calm as possible with the little energy I have. "Everyone has their limits! I'm  done!!!! So I decide to sit. Listen to my body and return to the flight response. I'm finding that taking it day by day is all I can do. This mama needs to go to bed before the sun rises and my grind starts again. Saying my prayers thanking for this crazy life of motherhood. It won't last forever.