Rescued

We teach our children skills to help them cope with life. But, we can't rescue them from life's disappointments, grief or failures. In fact, we need to teach them to deal with those moments. To show them by example how to plow through those moments.

I wish I could be rescued. I want to escape and fast forward through these moments when the unforseenable is your reality. And, it BITES!!! I am miserable! I am cranky, tired and just sick up playing catch up everyday. Will it ever end? Yes, I suppose when life ceases.

I sat in a local coffee house because I threw a tantrum. I was boycotting my family. And, as I sat in front of my laptop. I felt silly. I got news about my sister friend who is battling cancer. Then, got a text about a family friend who passed. In as much, I think my problems are exhaustive. There are those who are battling far worse problems.

I tried to imagine what it would be like to lose a parent as I said a prayer for my family friend. And, it saddened me. So much, I cried. Because my parents are at that age. They are temperamental. They are mad at me for losing my temper and not agreeing with my vocabulary.

I'm just at a stage in my life that I dont take crap from anyone. I'm too old for it. I know how I wanted to be lived, valued and respected. And, I'm choosing who I want in my circle. I have been rescued many times. And, every time, I stood there I could see who was next to me. Over the years, my friends have come and gone. Family differences have divided us.

Am I suppose to rescue all my relationships? Nope. It's a two way street. Everyone has to put in effort. It's called nurturing each relationship and fostering good will.

And, we are to be God's salts on earth. Flavoring of God and spreading his good will. 

Matthew 5:13

Creating Positivity

One of my best friends challenged me to list 3 positive things each for 5 consecutive days and nominate 3 people each day. What I learned is that the things I thought I would list as blessings were not listed and I am blessed beyond measure. For example: I have so many things I wanted to list that I had to prioritize them.

I did it the same day she challenged me. And, what I loved was seeing who I nominated do this same positivity challenge. There are so many things in this life that go sour and we have trials and hurdle that delay our journey. But, if we focused on those hurdles then we miss the chance to enjoy a slower pace and watching the beauty that lies within our surrounding.

In class tonight, I was extremely caught out of guard when several students told me how I changed their life for the better. One student who is morbidly obese  was recently diagnosed with diabetes who has started  exercising with her husband 3 times a week. She validated what I do. She made all the late night grading papers and prepping for class worthwhile. I've always wanted to impact my student's lives but it is rare I get immediate feedback before my class ends.

This was a rough week with battling a respiratory infection and teaching a full load. Thank goodness for these positive moments in my chaotic life that reminds me of the blessings in my life. Especially, when I'm thrown into a new routine as I transition into a system for grading. I am thankful for doing something I love and am proud to do.

Gravity pulls

Each morning I get this nudge right before I get up. It isn't a physical nudge but rather an internal nudge reminding me to be mindful. I start with the silent prayer giving thanks for a new day. It has been a part of my daily routine because of a planted seed. My mother emulated this habit everyday. I watched her say her rosary each morning before work. She always told me she prayed for our family, her patients, peace of the world and I never really grasped the importance of what she did. I thank her for setting such a great example.
Being centered each morning helps me go through the day. It reminds me of the very
purpose I have in my lifetime. I need to set an example for my spawn.
It wasn't until I really sat and listened to their prayers did I see the seeds were growing roots within my children. This made me smile and warmed my heart. So much. It made me cry. When my baby asked me what was wrong. I told her they were tears of joy. 

Labor of love

I've been mad, tired and emotionally exhausted from the first week of school. Not only for me but my kids as well. And, in the line of fire is my husband hearing my rants.
It didn't start out that way in the first morning of the week. I was caressing my kids awake and singing. The second day a whole new experience. I couldn't help but reach out to the fellow moms. I know it wasn't just me.
And, when we discussed the funny stories of the week and epic mommy fails. I was reassured that I was not alone in my journey of raising a teen and a tween.
Oh, how appropriate that we have a holiday right after our first week of school. We have been exhausted to the point where our head hits the pillow and we don't know what time our slumber began. During the grind of the errands, back to school schedule and extracurricular activities. I was reminded to slow down. Not only by God in silent prayer BUT  in HIS home. And, I am thankful to get an extra day to rest. Eat breakfast with my husband and kids. Enjoy a clean home and watch Netflix movies after a weekend of soccer games. It is in this labor of love that I am taught patience for accepting and bearing my cross. The daily grind is what gives us pain but also gives us perspective in our growth. It's appreciation for little miracles that we are reminded to be responsible for our happiness and peace of mind.  And, when it becomes unbearable, we ask for help. From our father who walks in our path and sometimes carries up when we can't walk.
This weekend, I was reminded of the man, God brought into my life when I prayed for a life partner who would love me unconditionally and my daughter like his own. It was when I saw him carry my baby, all 106 lbs of her, around the parking lot when we had dinner that I was reminded of my prayer answered. How this man, I was blessed to have give his love not of his own biological form but from a labor of love. Which was planted she was 2 1/2 years old and gave him the name "Dabas". My heart melts and will always every time he eases her pain. She was tired from 4 soccer games in one day in 102 degrees. Someone once called him a "gruff bear". And, it was on point. He talks curt and short but when you unravel his layers. He's just a plush bear. Huggable and kissable. To my labor of love, I will continue to make your turkey, cheese and avocado sandwiches because you allow me to be the best Mom I could ever be by being present in our children's lives.